We all want to be good parents. Why? Because a child is probably God’s best gift to you. Because we love our children ‘unconditionally.’ We want the best for them. But, do we really know what parenting really means? It implies facilitating a child’s dreams and consequently his* needs and helping him achieve them. It certainly does not mean making them achieve what you think they must achieve. The focus is the child not the parent.
Parenting simply implies promoting and supporting the overall developing of a child and includes the physical, emotional, social, financial, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. It is beyond just building a biological and emotional relationship.
Why Smart Parenting?
There has been a sudden shift in the environment in which we are operating today. The internet and communications have made big difference in the awareness levels. The need for children to depend on parents and teachers guidance has lowered. They are smart children living in a smart world of smart phones, smart TV etc. The parents need to step into this smart world and adopt smart parenting techniques.
I wonder if there is anything called Ideal parenting. Its unique as every child is born unique. However, we can learn from other’s experiences and apply them to our own lives. Here are 10 tips I compiled from my knowledge and experience.
1. Help your child discover and live his uniqueness.
Your child is unique. He need not be what you or people think he should be. Support him to identify his profession and encourage him to make it his profession.
2. Focus on what your child needs, not on what you think he needs.
We are talking of his life. Not yours. He is not your property. He is in the universe for his role to play – not yours. It is his ‘youniverse.’
3. Give the child some space.
Allow him some space to grow. Do not breathe down his neck.
4. Child is not a miniature adult.
He is not just small in size phsically. His brain is still growing. He is not growing physically alone but mentally too.
5. Telling is not teaching.
Just telling is not enough. And telling him repeatedly does not mean he will learn. Distinguish between telling and teaching. Make him understand the consequences. He will understand what benefits him when you explain it to him.
6. Earn respect and love.
Do not demand it. Is he expected to love you and respect you just because you played a role in his entry into the world?
7. Build a positive and healthy relationship with your child’s teacher.
The child is learning from the teacher and parent simultaneously. A joint approach will get a child’s focused attention. Do not leave him wondering whose advice he should follow.
8. Boost your child’s Self-esteem.
A child comes into this planet with a very high self-esteem. Very unknowingly and unintentionally, it’s the mother who generally damages the self-esteem of the child. This is generally reinforced by the teacher. Its worth building his self-esteem consciously.
9. Build an independent, confident child.
Make your child confident and lead him into independence. Let him not be dependent on you lifetime.
10. Be a role model.
Invest time in them not money. He trusts you. Do not betray his trust. Children do what you do and not what you say. Remember that
These are just a few tips to consider and use them as applicable to you and your child. It’s a complex process. I have attempted to make it simpler.